Gay Love
by SlashLover93
Summary: Ponyboy and Johnny are in love with each other, but gay love is forbidden, and no one will accept them, not even their closet friends. What will they do? Will they keep their love locked up?...Or will they find a way to be together? Slash.
1. Malchik Gay

**********Disclaimer- I do not own The Outsiders**

**Gay Love**

**Chapter 1 : Malchik Gay**

Ponyboy Michael Curtis was perfect.

Long auburn hair that was always greased to perfection, beautiful, rare, misty, green eyes, creamy, flawless, baby soft skin, an angelic smile, nice long legs, and a fragile, but built body.

But, he wasn't just good looking; he had a personality to match.

He was different than any other greaser. He's sensitive, innocent, and naïve. He sees things differently, things no one else don't or don't bother to see. He loved to read, watch movies and sunsets. He liked to write and draw. He was real dreamy; his head was always up in the clouds. He was the only smart one in the gang, besides Darry.

That kid was going places no other greaser has gone before. The gang was counting on him to finish high school, get out of this place, and become somebody.

Ponyboy Curtis was special, like an angel sent from heaven.

Johnny had always known that.

Ponyboy and Johnny were at the lot laying side by side.

Pony was on his back, hands behind his head, and eyes closed.

If Johnny didn't know any better he'd think Pony was asleep, but he was only day dreaming.

Johnny was laying on his side, facing him, staring at him. He couldn't help it; Johnny couldn't keep his eyes off Pony.

He loved his best friend, he loved him so much.

He tried not to, really he did, cause its wrong, but he did and he can't help it.

He wanted to kiss, touch, pull him close, and just show Pony how much he loved him, but he couldn't.

Ponyboy was too perfect, and Johnny didn't want to ruin perfection.

The gang would beat the tar out of him if he ever tried anything and Ponyboy would hate him.

Sure, he doesn't show much interest in girls, but that didn't mean he was gay.

In Johnny's dream though, Ponyboy loved him back, and he was allowed to kiss, touch, and hold the perfection.

He wanted his dreams to come true…But, he was afraid of acting out his desires.

He was afraid Pony would reject him and leave him all alone. He would die if that ever happened.

Johnny needed Ponyboy; he wanted him to stay by his side forever.

He kept all these feelings bottled up, fought all his urges to kiss and touch Pony, and choked back everything he had ever wanted to tell him.

He's been lying to his best friend.

But, lately it's been harder and harder to fight, to keep it all in.

Maybe, it was time to confess…

He just had to suck it up and try.

Johnny let out a shaky breath.

_Malchik gay  
Malchik gay  
I can be  
all you need  
Won't you please  
stay with me  
Malchik gay  
Malchik gay  
Apologies, might-have-been's  
Malchik gay  
Malchik gay  
can't erase what I feel  
Malchik gay, gay  
Malchik gay  
_

**Yay, my first PonyboyxJohnny story!!! I have been wanting to make one for a while and I finally did! lol This couple is just so cute!!!^^ But, anyway I wrote this for my challenge! Every chapter of this story will be based off a Tatu song. Next chapter will be up either later today or sometime tommorrow. Review, but please don't flame!**


	2. All The Things Johnny Said

**Gay Love**

**Chapter 2 : All The Things Johnny Said **

"P-Pony...Can I tell ya somethin'?"

Pony opened his eyes and looked over beside him to Johnny.

"What is it, Johnnycakes?"

Johnny hesitated.

"I...I-I Love ya," He finally admitted.

Pony gave him a weird look.

"I love you too."

Johnny beamed.

"Really,"

Pony smiled.

"Yeah, of course, man."

Johnny leaned down toward his face. Pony's brows furrowed in confusion.

Pony froze when Johnny's lips touched his in a light kiss.

When Johnny pulled away, Pony stared at him wide-eyed.

"J-Johnny...What was that?"

Johnny's wide eyes met Pony's and he began to panic.

"A-A kiss,"

"But, why," Pony asked.

"Ya said, ya loved me too." Johnny answered.

"Yeah, but I thought you meant as a best friend." Pony said.

"Oh." Johnny said quietly, disappointed, sitting up and turning away.

Pony sat up slowly, looking at his friend curiously.

"Do you love me like...Like a boyfriend?"

Silence filled the air and Ponyboy was sure Johnny wasn't going to answer, but was surprised when he finally did.

"Yeah, Ponyboy, I do...I'm sorry, I tried not to, I really did, but you're all I think about and I can't get ya outta my head. I love ya more than anything else in the world. You're very special to me. I've never felt this way. You're the only one who gets me. You're my best friend, my everything."

"Oh, Johnny..." Pony replied breathlessly, cheeks darkening a bit.

He was touched by his best friend's words and he thinks he felt something when Johnny kissed him, but he was confused.

Was he gay? He never thought he was. He never had a girlfriend, but he still liked girls. He liked Cherry Valance and that girl in yellow...Or he thought he did and now he ain't so sure.

Does he love Johnny? He's never thought of Johnny anything, but a best friend. He's never thought of another guy like that.

But, as he thought about it, he realized Johnny got him, even more than Soda did. They didn't even have to talk, all they had to do was look each other, and they knew what the other is thinking. Johnny's always there for him. Johnny meant so much to Ponyboy. He doesn't know what he would do without him.

Johnny's pretty good looking too, long, silky, black, greased hair, big, black, puppy dog eyes, smooth dark skin, and a fragile, slender body.

Pony was so confused.

"Johnny?"

Johnny turned around to face him, meeting his gaze.

Pony searched deep in the depth of his best friend's eyes.

Johnny loved him, he really did love him. He wanted Pony to love him back. He was afraid Pony was going to reject him. He thinks nobody could love him. All his life he's been rejected, abused, and neglected by his parents. All Johnny had ever wanted in life was to feel loved and be loved.

Pony could see all that in his eyes.

Pony was still very confused, but he didn't want Johnny to think he rejected him, so he leant over and kissed him.

Johnny eagerly returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around Pony's neck.

When Pony broke the kiss, he said,

"Give me sometime, because I think I love you, but I ain't sure, ok?"

Johnny had a huge smile on his face. Pony felt proud that he was the one who put it there. Johnny rarely ever smiled.

"Ok."

* * *

Pony hasn't seen Johnny in a week, because he needed time alone to think.

He's been going crazy without Johnny. The things Johnny had said to him and the memories of kissing Johnny and how good it felt replayed over and over in his head.

He talked to no one and ran on automatic mode. All he did was think, think about Johnny, that's all he could think about. He felt so lost.

Pony had his brothers and the whole gang worrying about him. He didn't know until one night, when Soda confronted him about it.

Soda wrapped an arm loosely around Pony's waist.

"Pony baby, what's been goin' on with ya? Lately you've been...Distant. Ya haven't been talkin' to anyone or reacting to anythin'. It seems like ya have been runnin' on auto pilot. You're like stuck in one of your daydreams or somethin'. The whole gang is worryin' somethin' awful about ya."

Pony was silent for a while, before he answered in a low whisper,

"Sorry, I didn't mean to worry anyone, I've just been thinking hard and deeply about something."

"About what," Soda asked curiously and concernedly.

Pony hesitated.

Should he tell Soda? Would Soda think he was crazy and throw him in the wacky shack? Would Soda hate him? Would Soda be disgusted and spit on him?

No, this was Soda we were talking about, happy go lucky, sweet, understanding, Sodapop. He would never do anything to hurt, nobody, especially Ponyboy.

Soda and Pony were the closet people in the whole world. They told each other everything, so why couldn't Pony tell Soda that he was gay? Pony trusted Soda with his life, if he could tell anyone, it'd be Soda.

"Someone really close to me told me they loved me and I don't know what to do. I think I love them too, but I ain't so sure. Ever since the day they told me all I think about is them, but it's wrong, no one will accept us, because this kind of love is forbidden in the world."

"Well..." Soda started slowly, kind of confused.

"If ya really love a person then ya should be with them, no matter what. Ya can't control who ya love. Love is love."

Pony smiled.

See, he could always count on Soda.

"So, who is it?" Soda asked curiously.

Pony didn't hesitate to tell Soda that time.

"Johnny."

Silence filled the room.

Pony started to panic when Soda didn't say anything. He turned around to look at him.

His big brown puppy dog eyes were wide, looking at him with shock and disbelief.

When Soda saw the hurt look in his baby brother's eyes, he shook himself from his daze.

"I-I guess, I can see why it'd be Johnny, ya guys were always very close....Closer then any of us had thought." Soda whispered the last part more to himself, then to Pony.

Pony studied Soda; his eyes were darting around the room, looking at anything, but Pony. He was nervous and uncomfortable, this bothered him.

Pony narrowed his eyes.

"And, you're ok with me loving a guy?"

Soda chuckled uneasily, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Of course, like I said, before love is love, right?...It-It was just a shock, ya dig?"

Pony kept his eyes narrowed, staring cautiously at his brother.

_'Liar'_

Soda took his arm off of Pony and turned around, so his back was facing him.

* * *

After a week of not seeing Johnny, Pony thought it was time to confront him about his thoughts and feelings about this whole thing.

He found Johnny at the lot and told him that he needed to talk to him.

They sat across from each other, Indian style, knees touching.

"Johnny I -" Pony paused, sighing deeply.

He grabbed his hands and stared directly into his eyes, making Johnny blush.

"I was totally lost. I never saw you more then a best friend. I thought I liked girls, but you opened my eyes to the truth. You're always there for me, Johnnycakes. You know me even more than Soda does. You mean the entire world to me. This whole week I couldn't think of anyone or anything else, but you, I was going crazy without you." He paused, licking his lips, searching the other boy's eyes.

Love, happiness, and hope were the only emotions in those dark orbs.

"I'm lost without you; I love you, Johnny Cade."

Tears of joy ran down Johnny's cheeks.

"I love ya too, Ponyboy Curtis."

They both leaned forward, until their lips met in a passionate kiss.

_All the things she said  
All the things she said  
Running through my head  
Running through my head  
Running through my head  
All the things she said  
All the things she said  
Running through my head  
Running through my head  
All the things she said  
All the things she said  
This is not enough  
This is not enough  
All the things she said  
All the things she said  
All the things she said  
All the things she said  
All the things she said  
All the things she said  
All the things she said  
All the things she said, she said  
All the things she said  
All the things she said  
_


	3. All The Things They Said

**Gay Love**

**Chapter 3 : All The Things They Said**

"WHAT THE FUCK,"

Pony and Johnny broke apart abruptly, staring at the owner of that angry, disgusted voice, with wide, fearful eyes.

Pony stood up quickly, panicked.

"Oh my god, Dal, it isn't what it looks like."

Dally glared at him with his icy, cold eyes.

"Oh, so I didn't walk in the lot to see ya suckin' face with Johnny!"

"O-ok, so it is what it looks like, but-"Pony tried to explain, but Dally cut him off.

"What the fuck? What in the world were ya guys possibly thinkin'? Have ya two finally gone off your rocker! Ya guys are both guys for Christ sakes!"

Pony started shaking. He was scared of Dally, especially when he was angry. Dally was short-tempered, he would beat a guy up just for looking at him wrong. Nobody messed with Dallas Winston for a reason; there was a reason for his reputation.

"W-we love each other, Dal…" Johnny said barely above a whisper.

He stayed down on his spot on the ground. He was afraid, not only because his hero was disgusted and angry with him, but also because his and Pony's relationship barely even started and it was already ending.

Dally grabbed Pony's arm in a bone crushing grip, making Pony whimper. That's when Johnny jumped up, trying to make Dally let go of Pony.

"Let go of him, Dal. Please don't hurt him."

Dally turned his icy glare to Johnny.

"I'm not gonna hurt the kid. I'm takin' him home and you're going to follow." He said, before he started dragging Pony toward the direction of the Curtis's house.

Johnny reluctantly followed; he was scared, but didn't want Pony to go through this alone.

Dally slammed the front door open to the Curtis's house, dragging in a scared looking fourteen year old Ponyboy Curtis, who looked ready to piss his pants. Johnny followed in behind them, closing the door quietly.

The whole gang was there, sitting around the table playing poker, and they looked like they were all having a fun time, but when they saw the scene in front of them, they stopped what they were doing.

Darry stood up from his spot.

"What's going on here?"

"I went over to the lot to see if Pony and Johnny wanted to hunt some action with me and ya'll never believe what I saw." Dally started.

Darry stared at his baby brother, concern evident in his eyes.

"What?"

Soda stared at Pony, hoping it wasn't what he thought it was.

Dally looked down at Ponyboy and started shaking him a little.

"Are ya gonna tell your brothers what ya and Johnny were doin'?"

Johnny grabbed Dally's arm that held Pony's arm.

"Calm down, Dal. Stop shaking him. You're gonna hurt him."

Dally shrugged Johnny's hand off, looking at him with piercing blue eyes.

"Don't tell me what the fuck to do, fag!" He snapped, but stopped shaking Pony and looked at Darry.

"Since your little brother is being a pussy, I'll tell ya what I saw. They were kissing each other."

Soda winced, yup, he had been right.

The other gang members were shocked speechless, not sure they heard right.

Darry was the first one to speak.

"W-what,"

"Your baby brother and the gang's pet are fags for each other." Dally said bluntly, finally dropping Pony's arm.

The whole gang looked at the two like they had just grown a second head.

Pony bit his lip, unsure of what to do. When he thought it over, he grabbed Johnny's hand, intertwining their fingers. He was going to fight, no matter what; he was going to fight for their love.

Johnny gave him a small, shaky smile. Pony returned it, before turning back to the gang.

"We love each other guys. I know we're both guys and its wrong, but we really do care about each other. I know it's only natural for a man and a woman to love each other, but some people just can't control who they fall in love with. Love is love."

Ponyboy and Johnny saw flashes of disgust in the gang's eyes.

Pony got tears in his eyes, but refused to let them fall.

"Go ahead, hate me, I don't care, not if you're going to hate me for who I love!"

"Ba – Pony –"Soda got up from his spot and slowly made it over to Pony, gently touching his shoulder, but quickly retracted it like he had shocked him.

"Pony, it's not that we hate ya and Johnny, we could never hate ya, all of us love ya guys…But-"

Pony glared at Soda through his tears.

"Yeah, well, if that's the case, then why won't you touch me, Soda?! Afraid my gayness will rub off on you?! Huh?! Afraid I'll try something on you?! Christ, Soda, you're my fucking brother, I'm gay, not a fucking sicko! This bothers the shit out of you, just be man enough to tell it to my fucking face! If you're going to let something like this become between our close brotherly bond, then fuck you! Fuck you, Sodapop!"

Soda was taken a back. Pony never yelled at Soda, never and it hurt, but he shook it off.

"Ok, want to know the truth? I think ya completely lost your mind, Ponyboy! Loving another guy is a sin, it's against god, you're gonna go to hell for it. Do ya know what the world does to gays? They hunt them down and torture them to death. I don't wanna see that happen to ya, Pony. I still love ya, a lot…I-its-its just…" His voice trailed off.

"Maybe I did lose my mind, Soda, but I'm happy and you should be happy that I'm happy. I thought you were understanding, but I guess you're no better than Darry." Pony said, a few tears squeezing out.

"Ponyboy Curtis!" Darry yelled.

"I will not tolerate that kind of language in this house and don't talk to Sodapop like that! I forbid you to see Johnny! Soda's right, you're going to be hunt down by people and get seriously hurt if this gets out! I will not let that happen! It's for your own good, Ponyboy! Anyways, you're too young to be in love, you ain't gay, you're just confused, and you don't know what you're doing. You're going to meet one hell of a girl one day, so don't worry kiddo."

Pony held Johnny's hand tighter, balling his free hand in a fist.

"I am NOT going to stop seeing Johnny! I DO love him, I love him a lot! I'm GAY, G-A-Y, GAY! I'm never going to date a girl, I don't even like them!"

"Oh my god, will ya shut up!" Steve yelled, slamming down his cards on the table.

Pony glared at him as he spat,

"No, you can't tell me what to do, Randle!"

"I always knew there was somethin' a matter with ya, kid, but golly, I never expected this. This just goes to show ya how fucked up ya really are. Somethin' like this will definitely get ya thrown in the wacky shack. God, it's wrong, disgusting, and unnatural, ya'll be lucky if ya don't get kill because of it."

Pony scowled, dropping Johnny's hand, so he could ball both his hands into tight fists, and took a step forward, looking ready to kill Steve.

"Pony," Darry warned in a low, dangerous voice.

"Go to your room."

"No!" Pony argued, keeping his eyes on Steve.

"Pony, I'll tell you nicely one more time. Go to your room."

Pony shook his head, glaring at Darry.

"PONYBOY CURTIS, YOU BETTER GO TO YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW!" Darry exploded.

Johnny looked at him, tears streaking down his dark cheeks.

"G-go, its ok, Pony, just…Just go to your room."

He gave him a shaky, lopsided grin.

"I'll be ok; I don't want ya to get in more trouble than ya already are, so just go head, Pony, don't worry about me."

Pony's face softened. He caressed Johnny's tearstained cheek.

"Ok, Johnnycakes, I love you." He said softly, before kissing him quickly on the lips, not caring that the gang was watching them.

"I love ya too, Ponyboy, I love ya too." Johnny whispered sadly.

He was afraid this was the end, that this was the last time he would be able to see Ponyboy and he couldn't take it.

Ponyboy glared at his brothers and the gang as he walked past them to his and Soda's room. He slammed the door shut and walked over to the window, sitting down on the window sill. Pony touched the glass; it was cold beneath his fingers.

It started raining outside.

_And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed  
They say it's my fault but I want her so much  
Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain  
Come in over my face, wash away all the shame  
When they stop and stare - don't worry me  
'Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me  
I can try to pretend, I can try to forget  
But it's driving me mad, going out of my head_


	4. Show Me Love

**Gay Love**

**Chapter 4 : Show Me Love**

It's been a week since Dally caught Ponyboy and Johnny making out. It's been a week since the gang found out. It's been a week since Darry forbidden Pony to see Johnny. It's been a week since Ponyboy and Johnny saw each other.

Ponyboy acted the same as he did that week he didn't see Johnny to think. He didn't eat, barely slept, and didn't talk to anyone. He ran on auto mode.

The only time Pony bothered to talk was to kick Soda out of his room and yell at him to go back to his old room, to say I hate you to his brothers, and when he got in a fight with Steve.

Yeah, him and Steve had it out again and Pony got very pissed and beat him up.

Sometimes, he would break down and cry.

He missed Johnny something awful. He felt incomplete without him.

Pony was sitting on his bed, staring down at a photo of him and Johnny in his hand.

The photo was taken by his mother, back when his parents were still alive.

He was crying, tears falling onto the picture.

That's when it hit him, he needed Johnny, he couldn't live without him, and he doesn't care what Darry says anymore, he's going to see Johnny no matter what.

He put the picture back in its spot in his dresser chore, went over to the window, opened it slowly so it wouldn't squeak, and climbed out.

He walked to Johnny's house and knocked on the front door. When no one answered, he knocked louder and yelled,

"Johnny open up, it's me!"

He hoped Mr. Cade wasn't home, because if he was, he might be in big trouble.

The door finally opened and there stood Johnny.

"Pony, what are ya doin' here?" He asked with surprise.

Pony wrapped his arms around him, giving him a big kiss, before hugging him close.

"I had to see you, Johnny. I don't care what Darry says, I'm not going to stop seeing you. I love you Johnnycakes. I-I just can't live without you."

Johnny hugged him back, burying his face in Pony's beautiful hair.

"I'm glad ya came, Ponyboy. I missed ya. I love ya too."

When they pulled back from their embrace, Pony asked,

"You're parents home?"

Johnny shook his head.

"No, their never home around this time,"

Pony nodded thoughtfully, glad Johnny's parents weren't here.

"You been staying here since…You know?"

Johnny nodded slowly.

"Have they been doing anything to you?" Pony asked, voice filled with concern.

"Naw, they both just been ignoring me." Johnny answered; trying to sound like it didn't bother him, but Pony knew it did.

"Your parents are assholes, Johnny. They're not really parents. They don't deserve your love. You deserve better, Johnnycakes, you shouldn't be living like this. You deserve all the love in the world. You deserve to be loved more than any of us. Anybody who doesn't love you is totally insane." Pony said sincerely with a bit of anger.

Johnny grabbed Pony's hand, intertwining their fingers.

"I have everything I need right here." He said softly with a rare happy smile on his face.

Pony blushed, smiling shyly back at Johnny.

"Come on." Johnny said, pulling Pony inside and shut the door.

He led him up the stairs, into his room.

Pony looked around. This was the first time he's ever been in Johnny's room, well, his house period.

It was s simple room. It had blue walls with a few posters of The Beatles and Elvis on them. There was a single bed in the corner, underneath the only window in the room. There was a nightstand beside the bed with a bunch of junk and an alarm clock on the top of it. On the opposite side of the room was an old looking dresser with a bunch of framed photos on the top of it.

Johnny led Pony to his bed and they both sat down.

"Uhh…Johnny," Pony asked nervously.

"Yeah," Johnny answered.

"Umm…I-I want to make it official…Make us official." Pony stuttered, blushing cherry red.

Johnny's eyes went wide and his cheeks darkened as he realized what Pony meant.

"Ya mean ya want to – Are ya sure, Ponyboy?"

"I-I mean I love you, I love you a lot, and I want to show you how much I love you. You're the one Johnny and I want to make it official." Pony explained shyly, blush darkening.

Johnny stared blankly at Pony for a second. He couldn't believe Pony wanted to have sex with him…But with Ponyboy; it was more than sex to Johnny. Sex was what Dally and Twobit had with random girls they didn't even care about. Ponyboy was worth more than that, Johnny actually loved Pony. Ponyboy meant the world to Johnny. So….it would be making love.

Pony wanted to make love with Johnny. Pony must really love him if he's willing to give him his virginity.

Johnny wanted and was willing to, but he was afraid Pony would regret it later.

He was young. Did Pony really want to lose his virginity now? Would he regret it later?

"Ya really sure, and I mean really really sure? I mean I already know ya love me; ya don't have to show me. You're still young. Do ya really want to lose your virginity now, at age fourteen?...And to me?" Johnny asked uncertainly.

"Johnny." Pony whined.

He climbed onto Johnny's lap and wrapped his arms around Johnny's neck.

"Of course, I'm sure, I told you. I wouldn't regret it later, because I love you and you're the one that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. I want to lose my virginity to you, because it's special to me and you're special to me. Stop putting yourself down, Johnnycakes, you're perfect."

Johnny blushed.

"Ok, if ya are so sure, let's do it…but I ain't the perfect one, ya are Pony."

Pony smiled.

Johnny gently laid Pony down on the bed and got on top of him. Johnny leaned down and pulled Pony into a heated passionate kiss, before moving feather like kisses down his neck. He took Pony's shirt off, throwing it to the floor. He moved his feather like kisses down his chest, stopping at his nipples to suck and bite gently at each one, before moving down his stomach, until he got to the waistband of Pony's jeans. He popped the buttoned and unzipped his pants, before pulling them all the way off, so they joined Pony's shirt on the floor.

Johnny couldn't help, but stare at the bulge in Pony's boxers. He grabbed Pony and began rubbing him.

Pony moaned.

Johnny moved his hand faster and faster.

"Johnny," Pony cried out, panting like crazy, and tugging at Johnny's greasy black hair.

He was about to lose it.

"J-Johnny, I'm going to –"That sentence was cut off by a desperate whimper, because just when Pony was about to cum, Johnny had stopped.

"J-Johnny…why'd you stop, I was about to cum." Pony half whined, half whimpered.

Johnny ignored him and pulled his boxers off. He took Pony into his mouth to finish him off like that and Pony moaned out his name as he came in Johnny's mouth.

Johnny swallowed and licked his lips. Ponyboy tasted good, almost like peppermint.

Johnny moved up to the panting Pony to kiss him, but Pony pulled away.

"What?" Johnny asked.

"You still have all your clothes on. It's not fair that I'm the only one totally naked."

Johnny smiled.

"You're right. I guess it would only be fair if I was naked too."

He got off Pony to strip out of his clothes, but before he went back on top of Pony, he went over to dig through his night stand drawer.

Johnny's naked rear was in great view. Pony's face flushed and he slowly licked his lips. He reached out and gently squeezed Johnny's left butt cheek, making Johnny jump. He looked back at him with a questioning look and tinted cheeks, Pony just smiled sheepishly.

When Johnny found what he was looking for, he went back on top of Pony.

"What did you get?" Pony asked curiously.

Johnny showed Pony what was in his hand. It was a bottle of lube. Pony's eyes widened.

"You had that in your night stand?"

"Yeah,"

"So, you did it before?"

"Huh?" It was Johnny's turn for his eyes to widen. "No, it's not like that! I've always had it, just in case…ya know? It's better to be prepared then unprepared, right?"

Pony nodded.

"Mhm,"

Johnny coated three of his fingers with the liquid. He put the first finger in, making Pony squirm underneath him, uncomfortable. When he added a second finger, Pony winced and shut his eyes. Johnny scissored him a couple of times, before adding a third finger. Pony cried out.

"J-Johnny…just…do it now!"

Johnny took his fingers out of Pony, slicked his cock with lube, and positioned himself above Pony's entrance.

He stared down at Pony with concern in his eyes.

"Are you still sure ya want to do this? Cause it's not too late to stop…I-I just don't wanna hurt ya."

Pony wrapped his arms around Johnny, pulling as close as possible.

"Yes, I am sure." Pony answered slowly, so he got the point.

"Ok." Johnny said, before going into Pony slowly.

Pony whimpered loudly, shutting his eyes tightly in pain, and dug his nails into Johnny's back.

Johnny stopped and looked back down at Ponyboy.

"Are ya ok?"

Pony nodded forcingly, not opening his eyes.

"J-just…m-move,"

Johnny obeyed, moving in and out of Pony slowly.

It felt amazing being inside of Pony. He was irrestibly tight, very warm and wet. It was perfect. It took all his self-control not to just pound into the smaller boy. He didn't want to hurt his lover, so he just kept his slow pace.

"Faster." Pony breathed out.

Johnny happily obliged, going in and out of Pony faster and harder with each thrust.

The warm feeling in the pit of Pony's stomach grew and grew, until he climaxed for a second time that day, screaming Johnny's name and clawing at his back.

The tightening around his cock was too much for Johnny and with a few final thrust, he came in Pony, moaning his name.

Both boys were hot and sweaty, and they were both panting heavily.

Johnny looked down at Pony, moving sweaty bangs away from a sweaty forehead, before kissing it. He then pulled out of Pony and rolled to the side.

Pony cuddled close to Johnny, laying his head on his chest.

Johnny wrapped his arms around Pony.

It became a routine. Same time, same place, Pony would sneak over Johnny's every day. They wouldn't always just have sex, they would talk, play poker, and sometimes they would even play strip poker. But, they never saw each other outside of Johnny's house, because the gang could catch them together again and would definitely try to tear them apart.

_Show me love, show me love, show me love,  
Show me love, show me love  
'Til you open the door_

_Show me love, show me love, show me  
love,  
Show me love, show me love,  
'Til I'm up off the floor_

_Show me love, show me love show me love,  
Show me love, show me love,  
'Til it's inside my pores_

_Show me love, show me love, show me love,  
Show me love, show me love,  
'Til I'm screaming for more_


	5. All About Ponyboy and Johnny

**Gay Love**

**Chapter 5: All About Ponyboy and Johnny**

Ponyboy made his way toward Johnny's house. It's been a month since their whole routine started. Ponyboy found Johnny on his porch steps.

"Johnny, what are you doing out here?"

"My parents are home." Johnny answered softly.

"W-what, but … I thought your parents were never home at this time." Pony said.

"I know, I know, but for some reason they are here today." Johnny said.

Pony sighed, sitting down beside Johnny.

"Now, what do we do? We can't go anywhere, because the gang might see us … Maybe I should just go back home and come back tomorrow."

Johnny looked over at him with panicked eyes. He looked forward to seeing Ponyboy everyday and didn't want him to leave, until they spent at least sometime together.

"Ca-can't we just go to the park? I mean the gang barely ever goes there, so we can spend a peaceful day there, just ya and me."

Pony was unsure for a moment, but nodded his head after he thought about it some.

"Ok, Johnny lets go."

They walked to the park and sat on the swings. They swung in comfortable silence for a good 45 minutes, before the peace was ruined.

"Ponyboy," Someone called.

Pony and Johnny stopped swinging and looked over to see Twobit coming toward them. They stood up quickly, eyes widening.

"T-Twobit, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I can ask ya the same thing, kid. Ya aren't supposed to be with Johnny. Darry went in your room to get ya and ya weren't there. He knew ya were out some where with Johnny, cuz what other reason would ya have to sneak out. He's very pissed, Ponyboy, he's gonna be watchin' ya like a hawk from now on. He got the whole gang out lookin' for ya. You're in a lot of trouble, kid."

Twobit was being uncharacteristically serious and that scared the shit out of Ponyboy and Johnny.

"Twobit, can I please just stay here? You can just go and tell Darry you couldn't find me." Pony begged.

Out of the whole gang, Pony could always persuade Twobit the easiest.

"Are ya kiddin' me, kid? If I did that, Darry would chop my ass off." Twobit said.

Pony sighed when he saw Twobit wasn't going to change his mind.

He turned to Johnny and kissed him softly on the cheek.

"I love you, Johnny, and no matter what, I'll always love you and I will never stop seeing you. We'll be together forever, I promise." He whispered in Johnny's ear.

Johnny stared at him with glazed over eyes and kissed him hard on the lips. Ponyboy kissed back, tongue tangling with Johnny's in a desperate kiss.

They only broke a part when Twobit coughed.

Pony went over by Twobit and they left Johnny alone at the park.

"I'm sorry, kid." Twobit said sincerely, when he saw how sad Pony was.

"But, it is for your and Johnny's own good."

That made Pony stop in his tracks. Twobit stopped walking and looked over to him.

He had a scowl on his face.

"When will everyone see that, that isn't true? I love Johnny! Can't you guys see how much it kills me to be without him! Can't you? Do you even care? You're suppose to be are friends, but if you guys were really are friends you would support are decisions and still love us for the decisions we make! And, just know that no matter what you guys do, I will never stop loving Johnny and I will not stop seeing him!"

"Look kid," Twobit started, putting his arm around his shoulders.

Pony shrugged his arm off.

"I know it's bothering ya. I ain't that stupid. But, it will pass, Ponyboy, it will pass. Ya and Johnny are just confused. Ya guys have never been in love before, so ya just latch onto the closest person to ya guys, which happened to be each other, and that's not good, kid, it isn't good at all. Your brother and Steve weren't lying when they said ya could be murdered for shit like that. Being gay is serious, it's dangerous. Do ya know that ya could be taken away from your brothers if the state found out? And, they wouldn't take ya to any boy's home, cuz no one wants a mental ill child. They would lock ya up in the wacky shack, and kid ya don't want that. Your brothers and the gang still love ya. If we didn't we would send ya to the wacky shack ourselves. We're all just lookin' out for ya, kid. This gay thing could ruin your future and nobody wants that, cuz you're our only hope and if your future dies, our hope dies. Ya really hurt Darry and Soda by tellin' them ya hate them, especially Soda. Have ya seen how much he's been smokin' lately? Ya guys have been so close your whole life and then he finds out you're gay and ya kick him outta your guy's room, tell him ya hate him, and don't even acknowledge him. Dude, this is hurting everybody, but it's killing your brothers. It's harder on them. They love ya more than anything, kid, ya just need to see that."

Ponyboy softened a bit.

He didn't want to hurt anyone, especially his brothers. He didn't really hate them, he was just mad.

He will not stop seeing, Johnny, they're going to have to learn to deal with that.

Maybe, he didn't understand, but they sure as hell didn't understand either.

He just shut his mouth and walked ahead of Twobit, not looking back.

When he arrived home, he saw Darry on his chair. Darry got up as soon as he saw Pony. Before he could open up his mouth to yell at him though, Ponyboy interrupted him.

"Don't even bother lecturing me, because Twobit already did and I don't need two lectures in one day."

"Boy, I think you do, because for some reason you just won't get it through your head!" Darry yelled.

Pony inhaled, closed his eyes and exhaled, and then opened up his eyes. He ran over to his eldest brother and hugged him in a tight embrace.

"I love you, Darry. I'm sorry I hurt you."

He pulled away to look up at him.

"But, I ain't sorry about Johnny. I love him, Darry and if ya love me then you will accept it. I know the risks, and I thank you and the gang for trying to protect me, but I'm willing to take all the risks to be with Johnny, because he's worth it."

Darry grabbed Pony's shoulders tightly.

"But, I won't let you, Ponyboy. I don't care what you say, it's just too dangerous … and I just won't have it, kid. You are grounded. You're not allowed to go anywhere, but home and school, until further notice. Soda's going back to your room, because you can't even be trusted to be alone in your own room."

Pony scoffed, looking away and crossed his arms.

Darry softened and hugged his emotional baby brother.

"I love you too, kiddo. You and Soda are my whole world. It's my job to protect you guys. I'm not trying to be the bad guy here; I'm just doing my best to protect you. Everything I do is for you. You just need to open up your eyes and see that."

Darry pulled away and hesitated a little, before he continued,

"Anyways … the reason why I was looking for you today was, because I got you a date with a beautiful girl. Her name is Sabrina Star, she goes to your school, and is even in the same grade as you. Soda and Steve told me that she goes to the DX everyday after school and talks about how dreamy you are. By the sound of things, that girl is crazy about you, Ponyboy."

"No, absolutely not, I told you, I'm GAY and in love with JOHNNY! I'm NEVER going to like girls! And, I am NOT going to cheat on Johnny with some tramp!" Pony growled out angrily.

Darry sighed. He didn't really feel like fighting at the moment.

"You don't even know this girl, so you can't just assume she's a tramp. Give her a chance. Please give this a try … for me?"

Pony sighed, hanging his head in shame and defeat.

"Fine,"

'_Sorry, Johnny,'_

* * *

Sabrina Star was a very beautiful girl.

She had long, bleached blonde hair that was wore in perfect curls and it framed perfectly with her delicate face. She had the biggest, bluest eyes Ponyboy's ever seen. Her skin was pale and flawless. Her lips were full and they were a light peach color. She had a perfect body with curves. She looked so delicate … like an angel or a porcelain doll.

She wasn't a tramp, far from it. She wasn't like all the other greaser girls. She didn't wear too much make up, just enough to highlight her beauty. She didn't wear slutty clothes, she dressed appropriately. She was a simple girl.

Her and Pony had a lot in common. She loved to read, and watch movies and sunsets. And, she wasn't just a girl with looks either, she was very smart, and had a great sense of humor.

She was great, she was perfect.

She was the perfect girl for Ponyboy.

Too bad Pony didn't like girls though. He tried, he really did … but he just couldn't feel any attraction toward her.

He liked her, but not like that. She was more of a good friend, than a girlfriend to him.

His heart belongs to one person and one person only, Johnny Cade.

But, still he dated her to make his brothers and the gang happy. He couldn't see Johnny, anyways, because he was constantly watched like a hawk by the whole gang and was never alone.

* * *

Johnny walked over to Ponyboy, while he was at his locker. Pony's face lit up and he smiled brightly at him.

It's been a few weeks since he had started dating Sabrina and he's missed Johnny something awful.

But, Johnny looked clearly upset, which made Pony's smile slip off quickly.

"What's wrong, Johnnycakes?"

He grabbed Pony's arm and dragged him to the boy's bathroom.

Pony looked at Johnny with concern and his brows furrowed in confusion.

"Johnny, what –"

"I heard ya where dating some girl, Sabrina Star." Johnny said blankly, cutting Pony off.

"Johnny, it's not like that. I'm just dating her to make my brothers and the gang happy. I like her as nothing more than a friend, heck, she feels like a sister to me. You're the one and only one I love, Johnnycakes. I'm sorry I haven't come seen you lately … It's just, after Twobit found us at the park together … I-I've been watched like a hawk. I'm never alone anymore." Ponyboy explained, somewhat sadly.

Johnny looked like he was about ready to break down in tears.

"I know ya love me, Ponyboy, and ya know I love ya … b-but maybe it just ain't enough. Maybe, this is a sign. Maybe, the gang was right. Two guys just can't love each other like we do. Ya are dating that girl to make everyone happy … maybe that's for the best. Ya'll grow to love her, forget about me, and live happily ever after with Sabrina as your wife and your guys kids and ya can fulfill your destiny. That's what everybody wants for ya … That's what I want for ya. I just want ya do be happy and to live the life ya deserve … and that don't include me."

Pony's eyes widened.

"No, Johnny, no, don't think like that, please. You are what's best for me. I'm only ever really happy with you. I don't need anything, but you. I couldn't live without you, kid. I'll stop seeing Sabrina if you want. We'll runaway or something … j-just don't talk like that. Please, don't talk like that." Ponyboy said in a pleading, desperate tone that broke Johnny's heart.

Pony clung onto Johnny as if he was afraid that Johnny would evaporate into thin air if he didn't hold onto him for dear life. His lips started to tremble as his whole body started to shake and tears streamed down his pale face.

"P-p-please … p-please," Pony whispered brokeningly, over and over in Johnny's ear.

Johnny held him back, tears of his own released. He couldn't believe how much he scared him by voicing out his thoughts.

It was true. Ponyboy could grow to love any girl, marry her, have kids, and live the life he was destined to live. He would be happier like that, where everyone accepts him, where he's normal, where he can take his lover out in public and not keep it a big, dark secret.

Johnny would give up his happiness, just to give Pony his.

But, he couldn't do it, he couldn't let go of Ponyboy, he couldn't break his heart, so he pulled him into a kiss.

When they pulled apart, Johnny whispered,

"I love ya, Ponyboy."

Pony gently grabbed both sides of Johnny's face.

"Promise me you won't leave me, promise me. Together forever, remember?"

"I could never leave you." Johnny breathed out sincerely, before pulling him into another kiss.

When they broke apart, Pony smiled warmly at Johnny and Johnny smiled back.

"Well, we better be getting to class." Pony said.

Johnny opened the door for Pony.

"Beauty, before age,"

Pony chuckled, walking out of the bathroom, followed by Johnny.

As the bathroom door swung shut, one of the stalls opened and out stepped a tall, muscular Soc with a sick, wicked smile on his face.

* * *

Ponyboy was walking home by himself. He was half way there, when a blue mustang stopped and six Socs got out.

Pony froze in fear, but quickly shook it off.

Greasers don't show fear, especially to Socs. He slowly turned around and put his meanest, toughest face on.

He recognized some of these Socs. Bob Sheldon, Randy Anderson, Rick … something. and David …. something. He couldn't remember Rick and David's last names. But, anyways, those were the same Socs that had beaten up Johnny. Johnny had pointed them out once to him.

He scowled.

"What do you want?"

"We know your dirty little secret, grease." Bob said as he stepped forward.

Pony paled.

'_No … they can't know … they-they just can't …'_

"W-what are you talking about?"

It was Rick's turn to step forward, a sick, wicked smile plastered onto his face.

"I saw you with that Johnny Cade kid in the bathroom."

Something flashed in Rick's eyes that scared Pony, and his sick smile grew.

"You're his boy toy aren't you, grease. Well, you see what we do to you greasers, now you're going to see what we do to gay greasers like you."

* * *

Johnny rushed to the hospital, running through the front doors, straight to the front desk. He fell on his hands and knees, gasping for air. He had ran the whole way there from his house.

"Pony … boy … Curtis … where … is …he?" He asked between pants.

The lady at the front desk gave him a strange look.

"Are you family?"

"No, but please, I'm his best friend, please let me see him! I heard he got hurt real bad, please!" He begged, tears filling his eyes.

She looked through some papers, and then looked back up at Johnny. She softened and a look of sympathy flashed through her eyes.

"Room 104,"

Johnny ran to the room number she had told him.

When he got to the room, he saw Pony on the hospital bed with tubes and machines surrounding him and he was sleeping.

The whole gang was there. Soda was sitting by Pony's side, whispering soothing words to him, and holding his limp hand. He also had tears streaming down his face. Darry was standing on the other side; his icy eyes were melted into puddles as he stared down at his baby brother. The rest of the gang stood at the bottom of the bed. Twobit was crying, Steve was trying not to cry, not wanting anyone to know that he really does care about the tagalong, and Dally never cried, but Johnny could see the concern for Pony hidden behind the icy shield in his eyes.

That girl Pony had been dating was there too. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, bawling like a baby.

Soda was the first one to notice Johnny. He gave him a death glare through his tears. He stood up, stomping his way over to him, backing him up into a wall, and punched him in the face.

Johnny yelped in pain.

Soda grabbed him by the collar, lifting him off his feet.

"Why, why couldn't ya just leave him alone?! I know you're the one who started this whole gay thing! This is your fault! It's your fault my baby brother is hurt! Do ya know what those Socs did to him?! They raped him and almost killed him! He's in a coma … a-and-and … the doctor said he might not even wake up." Soda's voice broke on the last part.

He let go of Johnny as tears came faster and heavier out of his eyes, he couldn't look at him.

"W-we warned ya …. Why couldn't ya just listen?"

Tears burst out of Johnny's sad puppy dog eyes, he felt like he was about to lose it right then and there, right in front of the gang.

He just couldn't believe it, not only did they hurt him and almost killed him … t-they raped him?

"J-just get out, Johnny and never come back if ya know what's good for ya."

Johnny spun around so fast he got whip lash and sped out of the room, crying his heart out.

* * *

Johnny looked into the room to make sure no one else was there, before going in and sat down on the chair beside Pony.

Soda told him to stay away, but it's been a little over a month and Pony still hasn't woke up. Johnny's been worried sick. He wanted Pony to wake up and be ok. Soda was right, it was his fault. He should have just left Pony alone and kept his feelings to himself. He turned Pony gay, he was the reason the Socs hurt him. He knew the risks, but didn't care. He was selfish. It was all his fault and it was killing Johnny.

He hasn't been eating or sleeping, and he's been cutting himself, because he deserved it. Ponyboy might die and Johnny couldn't live with that, so he would die to.

Pony's body was healing perfectly, all those scars and bruises almost completely faded, but that didn't matter. What did matter, though, was that Pony was going to be a total wreck when he woke up … if he woke up.

Johnny clutched onto one of Pony's limp, pale hands and broke down in sobs.

"I-I'm sorry, Ponyboy! It's my fault you're hurt! I put ya in danger by tellin' ya my true feelings for ya … I-I was selfish … and-and I'm so so-sorry! I don't care if ya hate me, j-just please wake up! I'll do anythin' ya want … I'll leave your life forever, anything, just wake up, please wake up!"

When Johnny didn't get a response, he dug his face in the hand he clutched and cried harder.

"I love ya, god, I love ya soo much, Ponyboy! D-don't leave m-m-me! I won't be able to go on, if ya don't wake up! You're my life, my everythin'! You're the only thing keepin' me alive! If it wasn't for ya, I would have been dead ages ago! I only live for ya! P-p-p-please …baby … wake up!"

And, he sobbed into his lover's hand, until he fell asleep.

_It's all about us (all about us)  
It's all about  
All about us (all about us)  
There's a thing that they can't touch  
'Cause ya know (ah ah)  
It's all about us (all about us)  
It's all about  
All about us  
all about us  
We'll run away if we must  
'Cause ya know  
It's all about us (It's all about us)  
It's all about love (It's all about us)  
In you I can trust (It's all about us)  
It's all about us  
_

**O.O God, I feel so bad for wrting this. The things I'm making Ponyboy and Johnny go through ... are just ... horrible! Anyways, there's going to be three more chapters for this story. I'll try to update as soon as possible. I have a lot of other stories to work on, but this one is my main focus, because I already have an idea on how it's going to end and i just really want to complete this story. Thanks to all that reviewed, that really means a lot to me. You guys are awesome!!**


	6. Stars

**Gay Love**

**Chapter 6: Stars**

Ponyboy woke up in pain.

He groaned.

It felt like he was hit by a truck. His whole body felt weak and he ached all over. It was too much for him to just open up his eyes.

He groaned again, waking Johnny up.

Johnny tightened his grip on Pony's hand and kissed it.

"Come on, wake up, baby."

'_Johnny?! Oh god, Johnny, thank god you're here!' _Pony's mind screamed.

He tried harder to open up his eyes.

"Come on, Pony, I'm here, just open up your eyes." Johnny begged, on the verge of tears.

After a couple of times trying and failing, he finally got his eyes opened.

A few tears fell as Johnny hugged Pony, burying his face in his chest.

"Oh, thank god, I thought I lost ya! Oh god, Ponyboy, ya don't know how happy I am to see ya!"

Pony wanted to hug him back, but his arms felt like they weighed a ton. He opened up his mouth to say something, but it hurt to speak to.

"Pony," Johnny asked in concern, pulling back a bit to stare at him in concern.

Pony opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to speak, when he finally sucked it up and forced himself to speak.

"W-w-what … h-hap-pened," His voice came out raspy and weak.

Johnny's eyes widened a little.

"Y-ya don't remember what happened to ya?"

Pony carefully shook his head.

Johnny stayed silent, not sure if he should tell him or not.

"Ya-ya got ... jumped by Socs." He finally answered quietly, not lying, but not telling the complete truth either.

That's when all the memories of that day came back at Pony in full force. His stiff, achy body started shaking as tears streamed down his eyes.

"O-oh … g-god … J-Joh-nny,"

Johnny immediately pulled Pony back into an embrace, being careful with the tubes as he held Pony in his arms. Pony buried his pale, tear streaked face in his chest, wrapping his arms limply around him.

"I-I-I-It … w-w-was … h-h-h-hor-rible,"

"I'm sure it was, Ponyboy." Johnny whispered softly in his ear, tears of his own falling.

"I'm sorry, Pony."

Pony pulled back, so he could look up at him.

"W-why … a-are … y-you … s-s-sorry,"

More tears escaped as Johnny looked away ashamedly.

"It's … my fault. You're here and you're hurt all cuz of my selfishness. If I would a just kept my feelings to myself … w-we wouldn't be in this mess."

"N-no … J-Johnny," Pony assured. "N-no-ne … of … it … w-was … y-your … f-fau-lt."

He sighed, but it sounded more like a wheeze.

"Pony, are ya ok?" Johnny asked with slight panic.

Pony didn't answer; instead he pulled away from Johnny and slowly turned to his side, so he could look out the window.

It was night time; it was a clear night, so stars covered the night sky.

"I-I-It's … t-their … f-fault … T-they … d-don't … u-under-stand … W-what … d-did … w-we … d-do … t-to … d-d-deserve … t-this? … J-just … f-for … l-loving … e-each … o-other? … A-aren't … w-we … h-human? … D-don't … w-we … h-have … f-feelings?"

He paused to cough. He was talking too much and it was wearing him out more than he already was.

"O-or … a-are … w-we … in ... s-space … or … some-thing?"

Pony stared out at the stars.

"J-Joh-nny … l-lets … r-run … a-away," He said suddenly.

Johnny's eyes widened in surprise, not expecting that.

"W-what? Are ya sure? Where would we go?"

"Some place where we can be free, to be us without judgment," Pony whispered so quietly, so his voice didn't come out all crackly and weak like it did when he tried to talk normally.

_How did we ever go this far?  
You touch my hand and start the car  
And for the first time in my life  
I'm crying.  
Are we in space? Do we belong  
Someplace where no one calls it wrong  
And like the stars we burn away  
The miles.  
How did we ever get this far?  
It shouldn't have to be this hard.  
Now for the first time in my life  
I'm flying.  
Are we in love? Do we deserve  
To bear the shame of this whole world?  
And like the night we camouflage  
Denial._


	7. They're Not Gonna Get Ponyboy and Johnny

**Gay Love**

**Chapter 7 : They Are Not Gonna Get Ponyboy and Johnny**

It's been a week since Ponyboy woke up from his coma. He could talk normally now and he was feeling a bit better.

Pony barely talked to the gang, when they visited him. He wouldn't let anyone, but Johnny touch him.

He would freak if you touched him and scream bloody murder. The gang learned their lesson after the incident on the first day of visiting him when he was up, when Soda and Two-bit attacked him in a hug.

Johnny came over to see him everyday after the gang left.

They planned to runaway, right when Pony felt strong enough to walk.

They were going to Windrixville, to an old abandoned church on Jay Mountain. Dally had mentioned it once and that's where they decided to go.

They were going to make that church theirs.

"Johnny, I'm ready to go." Ponyboy announced, when Johnny came over that night.

Johnny looked at him with a somewhat startled look.

"Huh?"

Pony looked at Johnny with a determined expression as he said,

"Let's runaway now,"

"Are ya sure, Ponyboy? … I mean ya can't even eat solid food yet and you're still a little weak. Don't ya think it's a bit too early yet?" Johnny asked with uncertainty and concern.

"I don't care!" Pony snapped.

"We need to go now, b-before I lose my nerve."

Johnny eyed his lover with concern, before he sat down beside him on his hospital bed and placed an arm around his shoulders.

Pony wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Look, Pony, we don't have to runaway, ya know."

That's when Pony finally met his eyes.

"Yes, we do! Don't you see it? That's the only way we can be together freely! If we stay here, stuff like this will happen all the time and it will tear us apart one way or another! And, I don't want that to happen, Johnnycake! I want to be with you forever!"

Johnny understood that. They went to far this time. They hurt Pony, hurt him in every way. He doesn't want anyone to hurt Pony like that again, but if they stay here it's going to happen again and again, and not only to Pony, to both of them. They won't stop, until they're both dead … and it's going to tear them apart. He doesn't want that, he wants to be with Pony forever too … but there was still something on his mind.

"I know, Pony, I know … but what about your brothers?"

Johnny knew Pony's brothers meant the world to him and vice versa. They gave up everything and tried so hard to stay together. They needed each other.

How would Darry and Soda react to Pony running away with Johnny?

They were a total wreck when he was in a coma … Johnny knows they couldn't go on without their baby brother and whether Pony admits it or not, Johnny knows he couldn't live without his brothers.

Pony sighed.

"I-I love them. They're the only family I got left. I don't want to hurt them … but they hurt me first by not accepting me and you for who we our…" He paused, sighing again. "They're the ones who pushed us to do this. They'll never accept us, especially now. We have no other choice."

It was Johnny's turn to sigh. He knew Pony was right. He nodded softly.

"Ok, but at least write them a letter or somethin', before we leave."

Pony thought for a minute, before nodding.

"Ok. Do me a favor, Johnnycake; can you go get me a pen and a piece a paper?"

Johnny gave Pony a half grin and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"Ok, Pony, hold on, I'll be right back."

He left the room and ten minutes later he returned with a piece of paper and pen in his hands.

"Thanks Johnny." Pony said as Johnny handed him the things he asked him for.

Pony bit his lip and stared down at the blank paper Johnny had given to him. He brought the pen shakily to the paper and began writing.

_Dear, Darry, Soda, and gang,_

_I have runaway with Johnny. I'm sorry, but this is the only way. You pushed me away, you just wouldn't accept me for who I truly am, and kept forcing me to be someone I'm not, even if it hurt me. I love Johnny more than anything and I'll do anything to be with him. We can't stay here now that those Socs know, because soon everyone will know and will want to kill us. It's just not safe here in Tulsa for us anymore, so we are getting out of here. Don't even bother trying to find us, because you will never guess where we're going. What those Socs did to me was just too much … We'll come back once things calm down … but we might never come back. I'm sorry._

_~Ponyboy Curtis ~_

Then he sat the letter down beside him on the bed, turning to Johnny.

"Ok, let's go."

Johnny pulled out two bags from underneath Pony's hospital bed. He went into the Curtis's house a couple days ago when nobody was there and packed up Pony's stuff, then he went to his own house to pack up his stuff and then he brought them here and hid them underneath Pony's hospital bed, until they were ready to leave.

He sat the bags on the bed and took a pair of clothes out of one bag and helped Pony change out of his hospital gown.

Johnny helped Pony stand up. His legs were shaky, weak from not walking in so long. Johnny put an arm around his thin waist to keep him steady. Pony wrapped a fragile arm around Johnny's shoulders. Johnny grabbed the bags with his free hand.

They walked out of the room.

They couldn't go threw the front doors, because they would surely get caught and if they were caught their plans would be ruined, so they had to sneak out one of the other doors.

And, that's what they did

It was a very dark, chilly night out, but they didn't care.

All they cared about right now was running, running away from the people who have tried to tear them apart ….

… Running to a place where they can be free.

_Nothing can stop us, not now, I love you  
They're not gonna get us,  
they're not gonna get us  
Nothing can stop us, not now, I love you  
They're not gonna get us,  
they're not gonna get us  
They're not gonna get us  
(Not gonna get us)  
They're not gonna get us, gonna get us  
They're not gonna get us  
(Not gonna get us)  
Not gonna get us, get us  
Not gonna get us, get us  
Not gonna get us"  
_


	8. They Shout

**Gay Love**

**Chapter 8 : They Shout  
**

"Hello?" Darry asked gruffly as he picked up the phone.

It was in the middle of the night. He had work tomorrow. Who would be calling this late?

"_Mr. Curtis?" A lady's voice answered back._

"Yes."

"_Mr. Curtis, this is the hospital. I am one of your brother's nurses –"_

That woke him up fully.

"What's wrong? Is he ok?"

Darry yelled into the phone, panicked.

_There was a pause._

"_I – I went to go give him his medication to help him sleep, but when I went in his room … he was gone."_

'_He's gone.'_ Those words seemed to stop his heart. They echoed in his head, teasing him, haunting him.

He dropped the phone.

Gone? How could he be gone? Where did he go? Why was he gone?

What if someone sneaked into his hospital room and took him?! Darry saw a bunch of things like that on the news and in the newspaper.

Oh my God, someone kidnapped his baby brother! How could the hospital let that happen?

They were supposed to watch him and take care of him, not let some crazy whack job come in and take him.

"Darry,"

At the sound of his other kid brother's voice, the world around him seemed to unfreeze and his heart started again, but it went so fast, he was sure it was going to bust out of his chest. He could hear his heart beat, beating in his ears. It was so loud; he thought he was going to go deaf.

That's when he remembered, the phone.

He ignored his brother as he hurriedly picked the phone up off the floor.

"Hello? You still there,"

"_Yes." _

"What do you mean he's gone? You guys were supposed to keep your eyes on him, take care of him, how could you let this happen?!"

_The lady sighed._

"_Mr. Curtis, I think you need to come down here now. Bring your other brother and your group of friends and meet me in your brother's room."_

Before, he could reply, she hung up.

He hung up the phone in a daze.

"Darry," The voice of his middle brother said again.

Darry turned to him slowly.

"What's goin' on? Who is gone? It isn't Pony … Please tell me it ain't Pony." Soda begged desperately.

Deep down Soda already knew it was Pony, because why else would they call here? Who else is important enough?

Sure, he loves the gang, but if he had to choose between the gang and his baby brother, he wouldn't hesitate to choose Pony. Pony was everything to him. He could not lose Pony, he couldn't. He'd die if he did. Pony was a huge part of him, a part he couldn't live without. A part he needed.

He needed Ponyboy.

"I'm sorry, Soda, but he is. Our baby brother is gone." Darry said calmly, but he was feeling the opposite of calm right now.

Soda froze, his expression unreadable.

"We need to round up the gang and go to the hospital." Darry said carefully.

Soda suddenly ran out of the house.

"Soda," Darry yelled out after him.

He knew Soda was going to take this hard. Sure, the gang and himself loved Pony, but nobody was as close to Pony as Soda was. They were like one person.

So, of course Soda was going to take it the hardest.

He ran after Soda to find him in the passenger seat of their truck. He went into the driver's seat and drove off.

* * *

The gang rushed into the front doors of the hospital and into Pony's hospital room, where there was a nurse with brunette hair put up in a neat little bun and sea green eyes waiting there.

When she saw all them, she gave them all a look that confused them. It was a look with mixed up emotions in it, disgust, coldness, anger, and a little bit of sympathy.

"I didn't tell anybody else Ponyboy was gone."

"What? Why? They can't find him, if they don't know he's gone!" Soda snapped.

She glared at him.

"Because, he doesn't want to be found! He was hurt badly, not only physically, but emotionally. You guys are supposed to be his family, his friends, but you guys have been selfish! You hurt him for your own selfish needs! He wasn't what you expected, so you just forced him to be what you wanted him to be even if it killed him inside! Who cares if being gay is unforbidden in the world, you guys ain't the world, and you're supposed to be on Pony's side! You made him feel like you guys didn't love him anymore and wouldn't love him unless he liked girls! You chased him away! You only left him one option and that was to runaway with Johnny!" She spat out coldly.

The gang stared at her with wide eyes.

So, that's why Ponyboy was gone. He wasn't kidnapped or anything … he ran away with Johnny …?

Dally was the first one to recover.

"What the fuck are ya talkin' about, lady? How would ya know all that?" He asked coolly.

That was a good question, how did she know all that? Well, she was assigned his nurse since the first day he came in. She took care of him and stayed longer than she had to.

Sometimes she would just come in, sit down on a chair beside his bed and stare at him. She would tear up. She felt a connection with that boy. She felt a deep urge to protect him and she didn't know why. She didn't know him and she never got close to her patients, but Pony was different. She felt sympathy toward him … what that group of guys did to him, made her stomach churn. He was just a boy, that shouldn't have happened to him. She wanted to go find those boys and give them a peace of her mind, make them hurt like how they made Pony hurt.

When Pony woke up, he was afraid of her at first, but after a while of talking to him, and caressing his cheek as she sang to him at night, he started to warm up to her.

They had a mother son like relationship. Even though she was twenty seven too young to have a fourteen year old kid, but he still felt like a son to her.

They talked all the time. He would tell her stories about his childhood and talk about his brothers and their gang of friends.

She didn't find out about Johnny, until one day he let it slip. He covered his mouth, eyes widening, tears threatening to fall, face pale.

He was afraid she would be disgusted and hate him. She wrapped him in a hug and assured him that she could never hate him and that being in love wasn't disgusting or wrong, that love is love no matter what. He wasn't sure she meant it, that she was faking it like Soda had at first, but when he looked in her eyes and saw she was being sincere and wasn't the least bit uncomfortable with it, he believed her.

He thanked her for understanding, for being the only one to understand. When she asked what he meant, he told her about his brothers and friends reactions, and about why that group of boys hurt him that way, he told her everything that happened.

That made her mad, what kind of friends and family did that? That was wrong, so wrong. They should be happy Pony was happy with Johnny no matter the reason.

The day before he left, he told her him and Johnny was leaving for the church on Jay Mountain in Winderixville. He told her to tell the gang and his brothers, but nobody else that he ran away. She said she would.

She told him that after she was done talking to them, she was going to go find a nursing job in Winderxville so that she can stay and take care of them. They need an adult to take care of them, they're just boys, they can't stay in that church by themselves.

Pony was hesitate at first, but then he agreed with a wide smile on his face.

"Let's just say, we got close during the time he was here." Is all she said.

They all stared at her blankly.

"Do ya mean, ya and him … had a relationship?" Two-bit asked, cocking an eye brow.

"Not a romantic relationship, because not only am I too old for him, but his heart belongs to Johnny, no matter how much you guys have tried to deny it or change it, but we do have a mother son like relationship and he told me everything. And, I just can't believe you guys would do that to one of your friends." She paused to look at Darry and Soda in disgust and coldness.

"To your little brother. Being gay is not wrong, what is wrong is that a total stranger accepted and supported Ponyboy, when his friends and family didn't."

The gang looked down at the floor with shame, guiltiness, and sadness.

She was right.

It isn't right that a nurse that Pony barley knew accepted his relationship with Johnny and they, the people he grew up with didn't.

They wouldn't see how much Pony and Johnny really did love each other. They didn't care if they hurt them or not, they just didn't want them together, they just wanted them to be normal.

They are the reason Pony is gone.

They chased him away.

She handed Darry a letter.

"Pony left it for you guys, before he and Johnny left." She said softly, when Darry gave her a questioning look.

At that, Darry scanned the letter as the rest of the gang read over his shoulders.

As he finished, he dropped the letter and just stood there, frozen, expression unreadable, then the unthinkable happened, for the first time ever, the big, tough guy who had been everyone's rock, broke.

He sank to his knees and bawled like a baby.

How could he let this happen? How could he hurt his baby brother like that? He was supposed to take care of him, he was the older brother, the guardian, he was supposed to protect him. He thought he was by keeping him from seeing Johnny, but all that did was hurt him. He was the worst older brother ever.

Because, of him his baby brother was gone and he might never come back.

He barely noticed Soda dropping next to him, clinging onto him with a broken look in his eyes as he cried.

He didn't even bother to look behind him to see Dally, Two-bit, or Steve's reactions, because for once in his life, he couldn't be their rock, he needed someone to be HIS rock.

* * *

Johnny couldn't sleep. He was too overwhelmed with everything that had happened.

Telling Pony how he felt, getting together with Pony just to be forced apart by the gang, making love with Pony for the first time, sneaking around to be with Pony, Pony dating that tramp to make his brothers and the gang happy, those sick, twisted Socs hurting his Pony in everyway possible, Soda hitting him and telling him to never go near Pony again, Pony in a coma for almost two months, and them running away.

It was just too much to take in all at once. It all just happened so fast.

But, Johnny was glad they were here, that they ran away, because now he could be with Ponyboy without fear.

They were free to be together and be truly happy for once in their life.

He looked over at his sleeping lover.

He looked so peaceful, so young in his sleep.

He sat up on his knees, gently moving Pony's head onto his lap and stroked his hair.

He still can't believe someone could harm his Pony. Yeah, sure, he was gay, but that doesn't change the fact that he was a sweet, innocent, naïve boy.

Pony didn't deserve that.

Johnny wished it was him instead, wished it had been anybody, but Pony.

"I'll protect ya, Ponyboy. No one's ever gonna hurt ya again. I won't let them. They'd have to go though me first." He promised in a soft whisper to the sleeping boy and to himself.

If Pony was hurt, Johnny was hurt. He would do anything for him, anything at all. He would protect him.

Now that they were free, he would protect him from all the troubles in the world.

Ponyboy gave up everything for him, his brothers, the gang, his future, his innocence, his perfection.

Johnny never really had anything, but the gang and he lost the gang when they found out about him and Pony.

He didn't care, because Pony was all he needed, all he had ever wanted.

No matter what had happened or what anyone had said or done, Ponyboy had never really left Johnny.

He chose Johnny over everyone, even his own brothers.

Pony was always there and for that, Johnny was grateful.

As Johnny leaned down to kiss Pony's smooth forehead, he thought of what Pony had always said to him,

"We'll be together forever, I promise."

_I will forget my dreams  
Nothing is what it seems  
I will effect you  
I will protect you  
From all the crazy schemes_

_You traded in your wings  
For everything freedom brings  
You never left me  
You never let me  
See what this feeling means_

_Everything that you feel  
Is everything that I feel  
So when we dream  
We shout..._

_We shout..._

_You say it's all complex  
Passion can pass for less  
We never bothered  
Telling each other  
What we were bound to guess  
Will anybody care  
We could go anywhere  
Going through danger  
Talking to strangers  
Will there be someone there_

_ntEverything that you feel  
Is everything that I feel  
So when we dream  
We shout..._

_We shout...  
We shout...  
We shout..._

**Sorry if the nurse part was stupid ... it was kind of a last minute thing**. **Anyways, this was the last chapter to Gay Love**. **I hope you all enjoyed this story!!!**

**Do you guys want a sequel? Because, I already have ideas for a sequel, but I won't write it, unless you guys want me to.**


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